Long waiting list for sex-abuse counseling–
Specialized recovery program helps young victims cope with trauma

By: Jessica Botelho-Urbanski

Marymound’s sexual-abuse treatment program for children and families has about a six-month waiting list because the need for counselling is so great.

Is it because the instances of sexual abuse have gone up, or because disclosing the sensitive information has become seemingly safer in recent years?

 Marty Yager, the fund-development manager at Marymound, isn’t sure. What he does know is the need for counselling is rising and without funding from United Way Winnipeg, the program would be backlogged for years.

“I think we’re a lot more aware now than we were 30 years ago when we wouldn’t even speak about (sexual abuse) in public. People would just go inward, and there would just be all sorts of reaction to it, whether it be through cutting, suicides, drug abuse or all sorts of behaviours that manifest when kids are in pain and can’t express it. This is kind of an intervention to help,” Yager said.

The program has been receiving referrals from the community for about 10 years and helps around 50 kids and families per year, Yager said.

Three therapists counsel anyone under 18 who’s undergone sexual abuse, and sometimes the sessions include other family members.

When the victims are too young or too scared to express themselves in words, the therapists will turn to alternatives, such as play therapy. Some four- to eight-year-olds use a sandbox table to share their struggles.

“A therapist could play or have them draw pictures of what’s going on for them. So an example would be, ‘Can you draw me a picture of your family?’ So they may draw Mom with a smiley face, Dad with a smiley face, Uncle with an angry face, who may be the abuser,” Yager explained.

Yager has been working with vulnerable children for 25 years. He spent 20 of those years working on the front lines — in group homes, mobile crisis units and development programs — before spearheading fundraising for Marymound in the last five years.

The front-line work was very comforting and rewarding, he said. Fond memories of working with the kids meant more than the paltry paycheques he received.

“Compensation in the youth-care field is not great. Staff are historically underpaid for the work that they do,” Yager said. “When I looked at the work that I was doing — even the struggling times with the kids — you always know that you’re providing support and encouragement. Even though the paycheques are small, the rewards on the other side with the kids were great.”

The kids who go through counselling with the program are often there for about a year, depending on their stages of recovery. Rehabilitating relationships between children and their parents or caregivers is often one of the main focuses of the program, Yager said.

One of the highlights of Yager’s job is seeing children Marymound helped return to the building years later to check in, volunteer as spokesmen and spokeswomen, or show off new babies.

Marymound works with children throughout Manitoba — as far north as Thompson — to help more than 3,000 kids per year with safe living arrangements, counselling and education services.

If you would like to donate to Marymound through United Way Winnipeg, call 204-477-UWAY (8929) or donate online at www.unitedwaywinnipeg.mb.ca.

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Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 21, 2015